Feelings deep in my heart

Can't help it,
I would say.

When people is eager in maintaining everything
you're the one who keeps yourself apart

When people is letting it down
you're the one who came over and started organising outings

I treasure the precious time we spent together
every single second
but wouldn't it be just memories?
Can you please just leave me alone?

I tried very hard in letting you down
Tried not giving a damn in contacting and approaching you all
I suppressed my feelings
and my concerns

However the past just flashes back into my mind
When I went back to school
When I see any of your sisters
Or a "to all girls" message from you
To be frank, I do miss you all

But,
I can no longer give everything to you all
I felt very insecure about all these
Do not know when would you all be stepping away again?
From our very small circle.

I seriously do not like this kind of feelings.
Being kept apart and not being updated.
And yet, we call it friendship.
This is not what I want
And,
I'm no longer looking forward into any of all these.


My apology
Lea Ngar

我的一个下午。。

简单的喝茶
变得无比的复杂
只因两个字 - 婆妈

3 个年轻的高二生
一个害羞 - （超级婆妈的 shee gee)
一个卖笑 - (高得来行为举止奇怪的 康年）
一个健谈 - (对自己未来蛮有概念的 Iven)
一个奇怪的组合
却额外的洽得来

你们
烦恼着自己的未来
是件好事
至少
走上冤枉路的机率
可能减低50% 以上

我一直离题
不要怪我
都是咖啡惹的祸
让我太“high"!

无论如何
希望
你们可以慎重考虑
因为
这将会是您的一生
加油吧，学弟妹们！


p/s:
-若我讲太多，或我说溜嘴什么，我道歉，真的不是有意的！我就爱吹水=。= 可信度= 零！
-还有，我不是小那个， 我是丽雅！
-另外，不用谢我， 下次你请， 哈哈！

I do miss you, CARMEN...

I miss everyone ............

Miss the days back in Connaught Secondary School

• 5 Science 1 especially

>> 8 of us, CARMEN, Mee Ting, Kar Mun, Siaw Wei, Geetha, Lai Mun, me and KH.
>> the girls sitting a row beside me, especially Jia Li who smile 24-7.
>> Guys behind me, Wai Wah, Jia Wei and somewhere near behind, Liang-shyen, Woon Sheng , Ah Boy, Chiew Wai etc etc. yeah, I can remember some of the 18sx topics that you guys chatted.
>> Poh Ling and Hui Chee on the other end.
>> SK II, Fwu Puu (my ketua kelas) and Nin Wei
>> My class deco ..Oh man!! I can never forget the boards I did for 5S1 =p

• PBC (chinese language society)

>> Our teacher especially, Pn.Yeap
>> the highest committee members, Choo Koon, Yi Xuan, Meng Da, Kamen and me ...
>> the activities behind, CNY night, Singing Competition, games etc etc
>> our arguments for tiny little things
>> drama =(

• PRS (peer counseling)

>> PN.HELENA...MOST LOVELY teacher in the SCHOOL and WILAYAH, our counsellor
>> I miss the days when I'm wearing the PRS T-shirt.
>> Valentine's Day.. where PRS has booths selling chocolates, card etc etc .. the meetings behind where we discuss on the things to sell, DAMN funny

• Editorial-Board

>> Choo Koon and Chin Yee ..the editors
>> Lolx, I'm what what artist and separator -.- SIGH!!
>> Miss the comfortable but located at somewhere funny Ed-board room =p
>> I miss photoshop =p
>> Miss the work that I did.
>> Miss my junior, Way Hong and his facial expression super cute >.<

• Computer Club

>> PAUL ..the president =p
>> lolx, committee don't have to do many things as he would take on the jobs.

• some of them in 5s4

>> Miss the days where I have my son and daughter as well as a husband in that class
>> My daughter is a male by the way and I think he wore his sister's bra during the play =p
>> Missing the days where we stay back up late to practice for drama.

Miss the days back in TARC

• Sn8

>> Pei Hwa, Siew Wai and Mun Yee
>> Krystal, Char-lot-te, Sye suan
>> Miss the noise made by Kai Shang and Yee Kai
>> Funny Tang Yang once he carried a cup of urine from the toilet into the lecture hall together with LiHong..Lolx...
>> Tiffany's voice
>> Miss the lecture hall's comfortable seats
>> The superb chilling AIR-COND
>> days of dropping stationaries and leaving our things behind..
>> the four bananas, Donathan, Raymond, Harley and Aaron
>> Jo Lene, SN8A class rep but she did the photostating jobs for all SN8ABC >.<

• the lecturers

>>Miss Ong(one who walks really fast)
>>Mr. Low( our mother)
>>Ms.Chong(a mother who is young at heart)
>>Ms.Ngow(the one who dumped us but I love her la)
>>Mr.Yap ( the one who don't really teach maths but game and life)
>>Ms.Christina(my beloved GP lecturer, We're the champions!! I can still remember that song~)
>> whoever taught us Maths before, such as, Ms.Chin, Mr.Alvin(2 lessons), many more..

• Canteen 2

>> chicken rice aunt because she is superb nice she gave me free vegetable !!
>> Mixed rice which costs RM1.90 for 3 dishes and RM2.10 for 4 dishes
>> herbal soup mee hoon, very nice!!
>> Dry curry chicken mee hoon hmm, I love mee hoon lolx
>> The very salty seaweed soup and rice this is not nice, pls dont eat
>> Chee Cheong Fun, Wan Tan Mee, Nasi Lemak, bread etc etc etc

• Library

>> This place is cool man!!
>> Huge and lotsa books I used to complain to my family alot but I found the resources are really great after I graduated
>> Many tables and quiet enough for revision
>> Smuggling food such as Rocky into the library is fun.
>> Hiding under the book and the vision of the librarians are more fun!
>> Chatted and given warnings by the librarians but still wanna chat! why mouth if we cant chat?

• Sports Complex

>> always fully booked badminton courts, quite cheap , RM 6 per hour per court
>> Miss the time where we can act as if we did paid for longer time.
>> Squash, this is hard and Donathan is great.
>> The Olympic sized swimming pool stand by the pool side and you'll find handsome guys swimming
>> The time where me , pei hwa and siew wai taken uncountable photos ...

I MISS EVERYONE, seriously ... =(

Medical School...

So many of them went to IMU , and I'm so lonely here =(

Pei Hwa , Justin, Donathan (medicine), Mun Yee, Jo Lene, Huay Ee (pharmacy) , Kai Shang (dentistry)

The latest news I got today was from Kai Shang, he is doing dentistry, 5 years locally, and it costs him for around MYR 400k. Thats such a a huge amount.

Anyway, Congrats to everyone as you all are stepping a step closer to your dream. My friends all had great dreams and they're striving hard.



p/s : gee, I miss you~ I knew tat you're not reading this, but I just feel like writing. Poland is too far for me to go and visit you, so, I'm waiting for the day when you come back. Love you much.

Screwed!

I had my last test for this month, ok, only for this month because tests and exams are never ending -.- 

Ok, it was calculus and analytical geometry I.. 

Come on, screw that paper.. I can't do the last question. Struggled for around 20 minutes and finally I gave up and left the Recital Hall..the duration for the entire paper is one and a half hour and I left 15 minutes earlier, so that I don't have to squeeze out the hall together with everyone =) 

Don't ask me why the hell are we having our exam in the Recital Hall, this is my school -.- and they don't use their brains in setting place. Sorry but to say so =.= I have to bend down to reach the tiny table attached to the seat all the time during the exam, stupidity, I say. 

Got back...God bless

FYI... I got back my bracelet =)

 10000000 million times of thanks to Ms.Ong..

I dropped it in her office... and she found it for me....

Really thank you very much ... 

My gold bracelet

This is the only picture left for my little pity gold bracelet.
It was a present given by my mum on one of my birthday, and my only gold accesory in my entire life.
I wore it during Chinese New Year, it's a tradition and I just follow.
I should have taken this bracelet out on the 15 of the lunar calendar.
However, I have forgotten.

Went back to TarC this evening, and had a long chat with Ms.Ong and Ms.Chong in Ms.Ong's office. They're super funny and Ms.Chong is not fierce at all. Lolx, she pointed us with a wooden rule and start talking and laughing herself. Her so called "young at heart". Tak boleh tahan!!

Right after the chatting, me, Sye suan, Pei Hwa and Siew Wai went to Alpha Angle for lunch at around 4 something =.= When we're searching for a restaurant, out of sudden I found my bracelet lost. Oh damn it, I was so nervous at that time. Called my mama and told her about this bad news. Pei Hwa asked," Are you trying to call your bracelet? " Oh my god, what a question???

Then, we went through the places that we walked, the car park of Alpha Angle, the place where we get the parking ticket, the escalators and etc. Also, we went back to TarC searching the parking lot, the road, the corridor outside the SPUS office and yet we can't locate my pity gold bracelet.

The only place that I walked through but I didn't get to search is, Ms.Ong's office.
It was locked, and I couldn't do anything.
Would need to wait till tomorrow, and Ms.Ong will help me to do the finding.
My last hope....
and My only hope...

回忆着。。。

每每来到过年期间
就是和你们4个相聚的时间
我们会不约而同的去到学校
相望，然后大笑！

那莫名的联系
不知道为何
还真让我感到安心
虽然只有那短短的两个礼拜
可是，已经足够了

因为一个活动
我们几乎每晚，更明确的是，有时间的时候
都会相约在一起
看节目进展
看看久违的舞台
还有筹委们背后-我们的影子

你说我很得空
也并非如此
你说我管太多
我也不想

有些事情
还真是情不自禁
我爱上了这个学会是事实
我不否认

也许
我该放下了
学会坐下来
好好地看一场新春晚会

2月14日
画下了一个美丽的句点
虽然我，依然没有时间坐下来看节目
可是，看见她望着我的眼神
我是满足的
至少，她可以重拾信心
一天的疲惫是值得的
明年的我，会更好。

when a girl reaches 20

四個二十歲的女生的愛情觀

她說:"沒有談過戀愛,不代表生命里是沒有愛情的."

她說:"愛情只是一個過程,現在的我對愛情沒有憧憬!"

她說:"20歲的我,會考慮到將來!"

她說:"我認為,20歲還年輕,還有本錢談更多場戀愛."


四個不同樣的女生, 有著不一樣的個性,不一樣的想法,不一樣的理想,
卻可以,好好的坐在一起,大聲的講,大聲的笑,
對周圍的人置之不理.

喜歡這樣的感覺, 那莫名的默契,
讓我回想當年.

愛情, 可以是甜的;苦的;澀的;辣的;
只要是你說得出來的味道, 都嘗到吧!

對, 20歲的確還年輕,
可是, 光陰似箭,流逝的青春是無法找回,
談十場戀愛,倒不如來一場轟轟烈烈的愛情,
如果可以的話.

話不要說得太實,
現在的想法,跟幾年前的想法,
可以說是幾乎不一樣,
可能人長大了,
有一些些老師說的深度吧
3 年前可能是 0%
3 年後可能增加了 0.01 % 吧

我們幾個人之間的'愛'是不會隨著時間而減少的,
我相信,
也希望如此.

套一句她說的詞,
粉腸門,
"我很珍惜和你們一起的時光, 真的!"

情人節快樂
希望
天下有情人終成眷屬

而我
會默默的等待吧~

A day in TARC

3rd of February 2009

I got my A2 statement of results and checked my breakdowns for all subjects for fun.
Hmm, got to see many people faces, those I only get to see in TARC, as well as some of my former classmates that we apparently stop contacting each other after A2 exams. It wasn't considered a waste of petrol back to TARC this time, as I get to certified my results as I need it for submission of many things.

Here goes my breakdowns :

	P1	P2	P3	P4	P5	AS	overall
Physics	b	b	a	b	a	b	B
Chemistry	a	a	a	a	a	a	A
Biology	a	a	a	b	a	a	A
	P1	P6	P3	P4		AS	overall
Mathematics	a	a	a	a		a	A